Marital infidelity is a tough pill, but it’s more common than you imagine. Did you know that it is the cause of 20-40% of divorces in the US? That’s some number- almost half of all marriages end in divorce because one partner steps out on the other. Scary as it sounds, you could be one of them!
You trust your partner and think you have the strongest bond in the world. But what if the world comes crashing down on you and you find out through professional people tracing that your spouse has been cheating? It may be one of the most traumatic experiences you may have been through.
But don’t worry, because healing is possible. You cannot expect an easy road, and it won’t happen overnight. Over time and with effort, you can rebuild your life after a broken marriage. Let’s dive into some strategies for healing from the pain of infidelity.
Table of Contents
Allow yourself to feel the emotions
The emotional impact of infidelity can be daunting, nothing like any pain you may have experienced before. There’s no right or wrong way to go- whether you’re angry, hurt, or betrayed, it’s okay. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that come after discovering the affair.
You may want to suppress or deny these feelings to keep the relationship intact or save your kids from the trauma. But bottling up only worsens the impact and makes it harder to move forward and start afresh. Talk to a friend or therapist, write down your feelings, or scream into a pillow. Do whatever helps you process them in a healthy way.
Take time for yourself
You may want to confront your spouse right after learning about them cheating. But that may not go well, at least, until you deal with the impact at your end. You must take time to process what’s happened, accept it, and figure out what you want ahead.
It might mean taking a break from your partner, moving out, or planning a solo trip to clear your head. You need not give an explanation to them because your mental health is worth more than a broken marriage. Whatever it looks like for you, give yourself space to heal.
Get evidence and confront
Confronting your partner is perhaps the most significant aspect of the healing process, whether you want to stay in the relationship or leave it for good. But before getting your hands dirty, ensure you’ve got the proof to validate your statements.
You can keep notes of small things like your spouse’s trips and phone calls. Why not get hackers for hire to dig deep into their phone records and get solid evidence to prove their guilt? Having something to show gives you an upper hand during the conversation, so prepare well in advance.
Healing from infidelity is a long and daunting journey, and you may need help down the road. A therapist can give you a safe space to be verbal about emotions and work through the trauma. They can also guide you about navigating communication with your partner.
You can even discuss your decision regarding whether or not to stay in the relationship. Seek out a therapist specializing in marriage and infidelity counseling. They can provide specific strategies to help you move forward.
Forgiveness isn’t easy, specifically when a partner you trust betrays you. But it can be a powerful tool for moving forward and starting again. Forgiving is not about forgetting or excusing what happened. It is about letting go of the anger and resentment that may hold you back.
Remember, it’s the only way to allow yourself to move on. But forgiveness is a personal journey, and it differs for everyone. It may take time to get there, but you will know when you are ready. Don’t rush yourself into it!
Invest in self-care
Self-care may not be on your mind, but it’s more crucial in times of crisis. You must go the extra mile to care for your physical and emotional health. Well, you’ve got to stick with the basics like eating well, working out, and getting enough sleep.
But pamper yourself by doing activities you enjoy like trying out a new hobby, getting out, and treating yourself with a makeover. And don’t feel guilty about feeling good because you deserve it.
A final word
Healing from infidelity is an arduous journey, but it is absolutely possible. You owe your relationship only as much as your partner does, so don’t stick with a toxic marriage. You may consider a second chance if they show genuine regret. Whatever you decide, your happiness should be the top priority.